I felt [I feel] like with Father’s Day looming in the wings that I needed to blog about something “daddy” related [teeth suck]. Me, I am not close with my father. As a matter of fact we do not talk. Not because I do not talk to him but because he does not go out of his way to talk to me and [so] I just stopped caring [sigh]. Of course, his story would be different but if he wants to tell his side he can write his own blog [lip curl]. And to just take a step back here, did I really stop caring? Did he? I dunno! What I do know is that I have had some real deep rooted, always manifest at the wrong [or is it the right] time, self – diagnosed, but easily identifiable daddy issues. I can claim my issues [blank stare]. Am I the only one [raised eyebrow]?
I have hit on subject matter in the past that deals with low self-esteem and low self worth. Today I tackle those and a couple others. How much do we value ourselves? What about those of us with abandonment issues? Commitment issues? Where does all this stem from? These are not innate qualities. They are not genetically transferred. My answer is that all of these character flaws are learned behavior. An accumulation of lessons that we learn through the interactions [or lack thereof] with those who were championed to mold us when were impressionable was what dictated how we would see ourselves. SoOooOOOooOo ummmm errrrr, I personally blame my momma and my daddy for all of my shortcomings! Okay, I jest. I do not blame them at all. It is not to say that they did not give birth to my crazy [side eye]. Being raised in single parent household, however, allowed me to shine my light on my daddy lack. When I was a babe I subconsciously dealt with the absence of a parent; idolizing the fantasy of what our dynamic would one day become. Growing up vying for attention, yearning for affection, looking for acceptance, wanting to be the apple of his eyes, and waiting to call him “daddy. Would you believe that I carried that fantasy into my adult life? And along with my subconscious desires came all of the inner conflicts that have never been addressed but indeed need to be met. Folks lemme tell you sumfin’! I did not stop vying, yearning, looking, wanting or waiting simply because I become an adult. Again, am I the only one here? Wait! All the half naked hotties and notties on social media, the reality whores, the eager responses to “send me a pic”, and the chicks that smash all the homies but errrr ummm nobody can relate to what I am saying here [blank stare]? Yeah, okay. Anyhoo, my hiccups along the way have been me stumbling through the lessons that my so called daddy should have taught me when I was a mere girl [lip curl]. But what he did not teach me life has. I am beautiful. I am worthy. A man should be your pillar of strength. I am a compliment of that strength. I am special. I am brilliant. A man should be my protector. Know the difference between a protector and a predator [side eye]. I have value.
Listen, we have all heard that a man should treat you like your father or better. And if you are like me the bar has been set pretty low. So does that mean that your standards have to be as low as the bar that was set? Because your daddy did not show you your worth does that mean you are unworthy? Tap. Tap. Tap. Let me step up on this here soap box! I will speak to you like I spoke to myself. If you ladies do not start recognizing your own personal issues with your daddy lack, self adjust your thoughts of you, and move in a different direction you will never get more than what your daddy gave you. And in a lot of your [our] situations, clearly it was not enough. Once you reach the pivotal point of adulthood you have to put the daddy fantasies to rest. So what? Your father did not live up to your expectations? He is a mere man after all. You do realize that you are punishing every real man thereafter for his shortcomings if you do not let some ISH go. Let it go. Let him go. Forgive him. Move on. Stop looking for these trumped up girl desires from these men. Girl desires attract boys and their foolishness. Is that what you are truly looking for? Adolescent reciprocation? You no longer need someone to call daddy. Grow up! You need a grown ass man who values you and speaks to your needs as a grown ass woman. And [if you must] you can call him daddy when you break out the feather, the school girl outfit & some peanut butter [raised eyebrow]. Ow! Until then, take heed and carry on.
I have hit on subject matter in the past that deals with low self-esteem and low self worth. Today I tackle those and a couple others. How much do we value ourselves? What about those of us with abandonment issues? Commitment issues? Where does all this stem from? These are not innate qualities. They are not genetically transferred. My answer is that all of these character flaws are learned behavior. An accumulation of lessons that we learn through the interactions [or lack thereof] with those who were championed to mold us when were impressionable was what dictated how we would see ourselves. SoOooOOOooOo ummmm errrrr, I personally blame my momma and my daddy for all of my shortcomings! Okay, I jest. I do not blame them at all. It is not to say that they did not give birth to my crazy [side eye]. Being raised in single parent household, however, allowed me to shine my light on my daddy lack. When I was a babe I subconsciously dealt with the absence of a parent; idolizing the fantasy of what our dynamic would one day become. Growing up vying for attention, yearning for affection, looking for acceptance, wanting to be the apple of his eyes, and waiting to call him “daddy. Would you believe that I carried that fantasy into my adult life? And along with my subconscious desires came all of the inner conflicts that have never been addressed but indeed need to be met. Folks lemme tell you sumfin’! I did not stop vying, yearning, looking, wanting or waiting simply because I become an adult. Again, am I the only one here? Wait! All the half naked hotties and notties on social media, the reality whores, the eager responses to “send me a pic”, and the chicks that smash all the homies but errrr ummm nobody can relate to what I am saying here [blank stare]? Yeah, okay. Anyhoo, my hiccups along the way have been me stumbling through the lessons that my so called daddy should have taught me when I was a mere girl [lip curl]. But what he did not teach me life has. I am beautiful. I am worthy. A man should be your pillar of strength. I am a compliment of that strength. I am special. I am brilliant. A man should be my protector. Know the difference between a protector and a predator [side eye]. I have value.
Listen, we have all heard that a man should treat you like your father or better. And if you are like me the bar has been set pretty low. So does that mean that your standards have to be as low as the bar that was set? Because your daddy did not show you your worth does that mean you are unworthy? Tap. Tap. Tap. Let me step up on this here soap box! I will speak to you like I spoke to myself. If you ladies do not start recognizing your own personal issues with your daddy lack, self adjust your thoughts of you, and move in a different direction you will never get more than what your daddy gave you. And in a lot of your [our] situations, clearly it was not enough. Once you reach the pivotal point of adulthood you have to put the daddy fantasies to rest. So what? Your father did not live up to your expectations? He is a mere man after all. You do realize that you are punishing every real man thereafter for his shortcomings if you do not let some ISH go. Let it go. Let him go. Forgive him. Move on. Stop looking for these trumped up girl desires from these men. Girl desires attract boys and their foolishness. Is that what you are truly looking for? Adolescent reciprocation? You no longer need someone to call daddy. Grow up! You need a grown ass man who values you and speaks to your needs as a grown ass woman. And [if you must] you can call him daddy when you break out the feather, the school girl outfit & some peanut butter [raised eyebrow]. Ow! Until then, take heed and carry on.
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