Sometimes I wish she knew. Sometimes I wish she understood how hard it was to be a young black male living in a society that has done everything to lay down a foundation specifically made to make you fail. Sometimes I wish she knew how scared I am while I'm walking home. Not only of my own people, but the people who are meant to "protect" the community. How I pray to God every single day that I'm not at the wrong place at the wrong time. How I cried the other day because I realized how far I've come. But she doesn't. All she knows is that I'm not there. All she knows is that for 6 years we've been apart, and haven't been on good terms not one time during those years. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I don't know what I want, sometimes I battle between my logic and my emotion. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm wasting my time, not only with her, but with myself. So I don't ask for forgiveness. I don't ask for mercy. I don't ask for her to hold to my hand, or be there as I "do my thing". I just want her to see that there are people that I need to save, there are things I need to do, but most importantly, there's a purpose I need to fulfill. All I need right now...is time