Today I lend this verse, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – I Timothy 5:8
Seems to me that this parent/child dynamic is a two way street [teeth suck]. And before you think your child should honor you maybe you want to review your “provisions”…. Or lack thereof. I am not going to get all preachy; albeit I am quoting biblical verses and what not. This thought of mine is going to be quick, direct and straight to the point.
Listen! There are some who will not agree with this but I must say this. Parents it is okay to apologize to your children; young or old. Parents do not have all of the answers. I will include myself in this. When you apologize to your children you show them that we are all fallible but our strength comes from the ability to admit this, make it right and move forward. So often the crust of our problems in life and society is that many do not have the innate ability to take ownership in our own misgivings. In layman’s terms, “own our shit”. That is learned behavior. Show your children how to take responsibility for their actions by doing so yourself. I have apologized to my children on many occasions. It does not make you less of a parent. It actually will enable your children to understand who you are a little bit better. It opens the doors for discussions, healing,... growth. Looking back on poor skills, misunderstandings or just lack of provisions any parent can has had some questionable parenting moments. The key is to admit that there was a better means to handle an interaction [or lack of interaction] with their children. We do not always get it right but once we discover that there was a wrong is it not our job to fix it? Even the absent parent has an opportunity to be present. Do they not? I say, “yes”.
A parent, however, should not recognize their wrong or their lack and believe that they have no need to show regret or to apologize; to explain. A free pass was not cloaked in the commandments; in biblical verse. Heck, everyone does not follow Biblical principle. So we turn to the humanistic aspect of things. Do not look to be honored if you have not been a provider. Honor does not come from blind allegiance. Honor comes from the acknowledgement of your works, your sacrifices, your [well] provisions. As with everything, however, it is never too late to right your wrong even if it was your child who reaped the ill rewards of your misdeeds. Correction! It is never too late to right your wrong especially if it was your child who reaped the ill rewards of your misdeeds. I am not quite sure who needed to hear that today but errrrr ummm whomp, there it is!