Do you know what type of mate you need?
Are you hurt or NUMB?
See sometimes people get so comfortable in their hurt, that it becomes them. So their search now changes to them looking for a healer of pain, a distractor of pain, the same attraction of pain or NUMB.
Healer: Totally unaware that person is in pain, all they see is what they are shown. They try to accept no matter how bad the behavior or actions. "They like you", so they pour into you....and they pour into you. And once your filled up with their kindness and energy you change back to the person you were pre-pain, and you leave. You now left that person broken, scared and in pain.
Distractor: Is a different type of individual that you wouldn't normally date. This person is so different that you absorb yourself into them and trying to figure them out , that they let you forget that you're in pain. Now this is good because by time you look up , your pain has shrunken to the size of a seed you can now step over. But you picked up a new circle, new image that you now either have to stay where you are (with eyes wide open, mouth shut) or go back to who you were before pain.
The Same: The same pain, is crazy because you never have to speak or share your vulnerabilities. This person takes on every characteristic from earlier mentioned. But with different outcomes.....because you both will heal and go back to your old selves. Back to your circles as if you never left. You may hold on to this person in the distant but more than likely you part ways and never speak again because your pain is there and now healed when you remember that person you see their pain and you're no longer attracted to them.
Numb: lol. I love numb.... Numb is when you develop unfamiliar characteristics and you wear them as your own. You pick these traits up as if you "were born this way"!
This is where a woman becomes the new man and starts to live promiscuously. Then realizes that she has adapted a behavior that further damages and once tired and ready to heal, she becomes "A NEW"..... A NEW haircut, A NEW body image and CELIBATE.
The male numb is the "asshole", the "Mr.I DON'T CARE". He is the JERK! This character is the one he use to see and loathe in other men. But because this trait is natural in others ... it's not as harsh as appears from the outside. But these good men that got hurt think that that's what women want, so they become the worse men on earth. Because their sweetness is still seen and attractive to women so they attract the good decent women and he gives her shit and sometimes destroys her. If not destroying her then her trust and faith in finding a good man.
By time the numb man tires of his charade he will be so confused and lonely and now have to rebuild. Usually the numb man ends up with a very mean and cunning woman that shows love but tears him slowly. If you haven't noticed NUMB is the worst of them all because it totally changes the person.
We can't hide from pain. But there are things you can do to avoid it like not ignoring red flags. You can also not try to suppress your pain in hopes that it doesn't take over you and make you NUMB.
Written by Lex Royal