The ladies of GirlTiniLive Uncensored [Tyema Sanchez, Sui Ming Johnson, Summer Willow Fitch and India Trotter], an internet talk radio show, discussed dating & expectations being set too high. So many times those of us who are single question why we are such. There are so many contributing factors to the answer "why" but many times we overlook what may be the obvious; it could be we are looking for Mr. Perfect instead of Mr. Right. The ladies used the Madam Noire article below as the basis of their discussion.
PUT THE LIST AWAY: 14 SIGNS YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH
Shared from MadamNoire.com - By Ashley Page
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, yet when you’re venturing out in the dating world, you’re looking for absolute perfection. While there is nothing wrong with having high expectations for the men you date and eventually get into relationships with, sometimes having too high of expectations can have just the opposite effect of what you’re looking to achieve. Here are 14 signs that your expectations are too high and it’s time to reconsider.
1. YOU WANT YOU IN MALE FORM
When it comes time to find a man who you’re willing to date and maybe settle down with for a little while, you’re looking for someone who can mimic you. You want a man who likes the same things you do, has similar career aspirations, has the same exact morals, and has the same future vision. While having similarities is important, you’ll find it’s extremely hard to find a man who is exactly like you. Your expectations are too high if you’re looking for a you in male form.
2. ALL OF YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN SHORT
When you look back and think, you have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their hardest still can’t please you.
3. YOUR DEAL BREAKERS ARE ALL SUPERFICIAL
Every woman has those things that she just does not want in a man. Who wants a guy who doesn’t work and plays video games all day? Or who wants a man with no aspirations in life? However, for you, your deal breakers are all extremely superficial. You refuse to a date a man who isn’t at least 6’0 and you won’t date a man who doesn’t have a chiseled body. When your deal breakers are superficial, it’s likely that your expectations are too high. Remember, everyone has flaws, so cut them a little slack.
4. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A MAN YOU CAN MOLD
When you go on a date or get into a relationship, you know in your heart and in your mind that you’re looking to mold and change this guy to fit your idea of a perfect man. You purposefully don’t date men who seem extremely stuck in their ways and unwilling to change. When your expectations are too high you do anything and everything you can in order to mold a man to mess perfectly into your wants and needs.
5. YOU EXPECT DATES TO GO EXACTLY AS YOU ENVISION IT
Before a date, you have this fairytale in your head that plays over and over again. You meet this handsome man and he’s a gentleman. He’s also everything you’ve been looking for. But when you do go on dates with these high expectations of a perfect night you’re often let down. First dates rarely go as planned. Everyone is awkward and just because things didn’t go super smooth doesn’t mean the evening was a total bust.
6. YOU WANT A MIND READER
You’re one of those women who isn’t too good at communicating what she feels and thinks. Instead, when you’re angry, sad, or upset about something, you expect the man in your life to be able to figure it out all on his own. Women who want mind readers often have extremely high expectations that not many men are able to surpass, let alone live up to. Communication is important in any relationship and expecting a mind reader just won’t fly.
7. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU
You are convinced that there is this one single man out there just waiting for you to find him so that he can complete you as a person and as a woman. You have this idea that this man is your soul mate and he’ll be able to fulfill all of your wants and needs. If this is your true way of thinking, you have a lot of learning to do and you’ll find yourself nothing short of single. If you’re looking towards someone else to make you happy, you’ll never be completely happy. Happiness has to come from within.
8. YOU DREAM OF MOVIE AND FAIRYTALE ROMANCES
Fairytales are exactly that, and the relationships you see in the movies are nothing like the real ones you will experience. Love and relationships should never be based on fantasy ideas. Having these ideas in your brain sets you up for failure because when your relationship isn’t on par, it’s a shortfall and you pawn the relationship off as being bad or untrue. Your expectations are too high when your brain is focused on fake and fantasy relationships and love.
To view the slide show on MadamNoire.com & signs 9 - 14 please click here...
PUT THE LIST AWAY: 14 SIGNS YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH
Shared from MadamNoire.com - By Ashley Page
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, yet when you’re venturing out in the dating world, you’re looking for absolute perfection. While there is nothing wrong with having high expectations for the men you date and eventually get into relationships with, sometimes having too high of expectations can have just the opposite effect of what you’re looking to achieve. Here are 14 signs that your expectations are too high and it’s time to reconsider.
1. YOU WANT YOU IN MALE FORM
When it comes time to find a man who you’re willing to date and maybe settle down with for a little while, you’re looking for someone who can mimic you. You want a man who likes the same things you do, has similar career aspirations, has the same exact morals, and has the same future vision. While having similarities is important, you’ll find it’s extremely hard to find a man who is exactly like you. Your expectations are too high if you’re looking for a you in male form.
2. ALL OF YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN SHORT
When you look back and think, you have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their hardest still can’t please you.
3. YOUR DEAL BREAKERS ARE ALL SUPERFICIAL
Every woman has those things that she just does not want in a man. Who wants a guy who doesn’t work and plays video games all day? Or who wants a man with no aspirations in life? However, for you, your deal breakers are all extremely superficial. You refuse to a date a man who isn’t at least 6’0 and you won’t date a man who doesn’t have a chiseled body. When your deal breakers are superficial, it’s likely that your expectations are too high. Remember, everyone has flaws, so cut them a little slack.
4. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A MAN YOU CAN MOLD
When you go on a date or get into a relationship, you know in your heart and in your mind that you’re looking to mold and change this guy to fit your idea of a perfect man. You purposefully don’t date men who seem extremely stuck in their ways and unwilling to change. When your expectations are too high you do anything and everything you can in order to mold a man to mess perfectly into your wants and needs.
5. YOU EXPECT DATES TO GO EXACTLY AS YOU ENVISION IT
Before a date, you have this fairytale in your head that plays over and over again. You meet this handsome man and he’s a gentleman. He’s also everything you’ve been looking for. But when you do go on dates with these high expectations of a perfect night you’re often let down. First dates rarely go as planned. Everyone is awkward and just because things didn’t go super smooth doesn’t mean the evening was a total bust.
6. YOU WANT A MIND READER
You’re one of those women who isn’t too good at communicating what she feels and thinks. Instead, when you’re angry, sad, or upset about something, you expect the man in your life to be able to figure it out all on his own. Women who want mind readers often have extremely high expectations that not many men are able to surpass, let alone live up to. Communication is important in any relationship and expecting a mind reader just won’t fly.
7. YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU
You are convinced that there is this one single man out there just waiting for you to find him so that he can complete you as a person and as a woman. You have this idea that this man is your soul mate and he’ll be able to fulfill all of your wants and needs. If this is your true way of thinking, you have a lot of learning to do and you’ll find yourself nothing short of single. If you’re looking towards someone else to make you happy, you’ll never be completely happy. Happiness has to come from within.
8. YOU DREAM OF MOVIE AND FAIRYTALE ROMANCES
Fairytales are exactly that, and the relationships you see in the movies are nothing like the real ones you will experience. Love and relationships should never be based on fantasy ideas. Having these ideas in your brain sets you up for failure because when your relationship isn’t on par, it’s a shortfall and you pawn the relationship off as being bad or untrue. Your expectations are too high when your brain is focused on fake and fantasy relationships and love.
To view the slide show on MadamNoire.com & signs 9 - 14 please click here...